Liveblogging the OC again - The Gringos

I might have to liveblog the OC every week, but I'm at least doing it today.

We begin with Ryan of course heading out to exact revenge for Marissa's death, and now Seth picks up the phone to discover good ol' Julie and Ryan in an old fashioned discussion about how Volchek is not going to get away, blahblahblah Ryan constantly packs his bags on this stupid show and takes off like no one ever suspects him of anything. No calling the police either because as usual he is a dumbass. Seth subtly leaves a note for his parents (I assume) while he pulls another old-fashioned "Take me with you I am stealth" (Way to ref the first season).

"No offense, but, like nobody believes that."

And we get a moment of Ryan staring when Seth thinks he's gonna pop a cap in Volchek's ass. Brilliant.

Summer and foliage, who knew? Weird Paul Rudd type discovers her again in a moment of earnestness and Summer is looking way uncleansed. What's with the fuzzy hair?

Summer is a planner. In a ResEd test, she would be the organizer type or whatever that is called and WHAT is this action going on with Paul Rudd hugging her and smelling her unwashed hair? I disapprove. Who lives in a freshman dorm with no roommates and why does Taylor sleep in other people's beds in leopard print. Summer appears to agree with me on that front, classy biotch she is.

I wish Taylor had a secret twin because I would pretty much die. And that green thing of Summer's she is wearing kind of looks like that hat from that ANTM girl who got kicked off.

Also Summer is still wearing leggings, only with terrible shoes. Is that socially conscious, I ask you?

Bitchy Asian principal has been replaced with bitchy other principal, nice switcheroo. She appears to be a worse actress than the first time around and Julie seems to be glueing her hair to her head instead of glueing together all of her stupid home ec projects. She is starting to look more like an alien.

DARFUR reference, again, totally on top of the youth movements. Who is this bitch principal, she is totally meddling. No principal does that in real life.

What's the note say Seth, can you not leave good hints? Sandy you do not know your son. HOW DO YOU SPELL VOLCHOK IS IT VOLCHEK OR VOLCHOK OR WHAT THE HELL THAT IS SUCH A FAKE NAME. They always go to Mexico and it seems to take them like 15 minutes which is not the truth, and I think these Mexico scenes are filmed in the middle of Chino.

Ryan seriously needs to get his rage under control. He is kind of annoying now. Is Ryan the new Marissa? Seth, can you not pick up your phone? Luke's curly headed brother has funny nipples, and Caitlin has some serious decorating problems (pink, orange, yellow polka dots and black flower silhouettes?). Ew, and blue open circle dot things too. Not cool or edgy, just Pottery Barn designs gone crazy.

Why do they never care about the fact that their ridiculous children keep running off to TJ on a moment's notice?

Seth continues to be oblivious and Ryan continues to be the Marissa with rage that I cannot stand. I thought the Cohens took him in because he was smart, had potential, not because he was a ridiculous

(Preview shows Julie taking conTROL again, with nice putting-car-in-gear accompanying metaphor. Nice.)

Hot Mexican (again not played by real Mexican as far as I can tell) notices Ryan.

Summer actually DOES have a roommate who looks a little ridiculous herself, these polaroids remind me of a Felicity kind of thing - crazy roommates always make their appearance. With annoying voices. No one has a social taboo class, that is bullshit, and I want to take it. Summer has coasters on the wall. And the Paul Rudd apparently does have a name - Che. How fitting.

Seth walks into the Laguna Beach contingent of Ensenada (which now I think about it might be the trailer fratboys from Borat) - they seem to be a little psychotic and I'm concerned for Seth's tender, narrow shoulders. Stay strong. You know you always come up with the creative solution.
Is this the moment Caitlin starts getting sucked into grand theft clothing? No, apparently not.

Julie is not smooth in her effort to . Caitlin, on the other hand is really on top of her shit and I am liking her more and more.

Same goes for Taylor who kicks ass as usual. She reminds me of Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blond. Che turns out to be a bit of a Jewish American Prince. Taylor kicks ASS with her bad Spanish accent.

Marine guy has huge eyeballs and kind of freaks me out. Seriously, do people like this exist?

Gratuitous ceiling-to-floor shot of Sandy and Kirsten as they lie in bed trying to justify their own terrible parenting. Finally the suck up and

SETH gets a tattoo and claims to have 18 tequila shots which is total bullshit if I ever called it, but his own bumbling as usual gets him the info he needs as fake Mexicana busts out and gives him the truth. And I just realized that Seth is wearing a Semper Fi shirt. Shit, the fake Mexicana has a grudge against Volchek of her own, which brings up

Hoow come Sandy and Kirsten's version of Mexico looks exactly like the crab shack in Newport, and they are drinking lattes and wearing aviators in the same country where Ryan and Seth are hanging out in sleazy rusty bars? Plus they appear to be in a totally different time zone. Maybe that's what they mean by "foreign country where we don't speak the language?" The OC disgusts me sometimes.

Meanwhile we have a Taylor v. Summer faceoff as Summer says she "doesn't do love triangles anymore," very meta again. Summer has serious issues and if Seth knew his shit he would have realized something was wrong long ago. Taylor got married, no shit, what happened to the Japanese (Korean?) guy?

Seth calls Ryan on his shit, again the voice of wisdom/loner who no one respects. Ryan you are better than this. And Seth, I can't believe you gave in.

Caitlin is wearing the worst shirt ever to be puked out by Urban Outfitters. And Julie has the classic line "Are people in America this fat?" She seems to have adopted the Summer school of life with her moment about how the world is a toilet bowl and they are being flushed, only Summer would say that the trees and things are being flushed. And also Caitlin looks like she lost about 30 pounds between last week and now. And does RYAN have a GUN? What is with the terrible glasses? You look incredibly lame, just telling you - oh, thank God, he took them off.

Is that a gun or a knife? Why do you assume Volchek is in the back - oh, right, because he lives in bars. In orange rooms. The usual. And has lots of rage for anonymous people who knock on his door, while Seth... ah, yes. Tricky. Always doing the best for Ryan where his supposed parents fail.

(Weird Borat preview supporting some bizarre FOX show no one cares about. Wtf?)

Volchek seems to have gotten a ridiculous tat and spent his time in Mexico carefully clipping his hair and is also messed up over Marissa because apparently people think it's worth it. And Ryan runs into his parents and discovers he's been set up, so he begins being more bitter and not falling for Sandy's "we are still a family" bit, and then discovers to the tune of choir-ish music that Seth betrayed him. Snap.

Ooh, Summer has a cute Fair Isle sweater. I want.

Sort of nonplussed by the whole Taylor marriage bit. But she does deliver the classic line:

"Oh, by the way, your roommate is a big slut."
Summer: "Yeah, I know."

What goes around comes around, as the Luke brothers jack Sandy and Ryan's sweeeet leather jackets. It's the little details that keep me coming back, like when Julie's real cattiness remains: "Amy Bennet buys used clothing?"

What the hell jacket is Caitlin wearing, it's really ugly. The fashion here is not doing so well. And Summer writes a letter a la Brian Krakow, this is still not 1994, despite your flannel makeover.

Kiki used to be more fun when she was running a company. Now she just kind of says motherly things.

Summer is retreating into psycho activism again after failing to write a gazillion letters, so what is going on now with Che? He is a classic character, I am a big fan. Except for THIS development out on the picnic blanket under the romantic moon with his head in her lap. DISAPPROVE. This gets the stamp of Emily disapproval.

Seth's tattoo - how cute! Miss Vixen, the summer cartoon character, I love despite the gay vibe.

Julie Cooper is the real instigator as usual. Nothing ever changes. And Caitlin's bad behavior seems to be pulling Julie out of her zoney drugged out phase, although we'll see, she may be headed down the Kiki breakdown path. Caitlin offers to make her mom ice cream, while meanwhile Julie seems to do nothing but eat junk food and stay thin. Just the food she eats during filming takes would cause her to gain a crapload of weight. And - make ice cream? Nice one.

Caitlin steals clothing, ok, we saw this in the previews, I'm not really worried. Julie's glued hair continues, now she also has elf ears. And Sandy lays the smack down while she bitches about not having her kids anymore. Dude, hasn't Julie hired people that were NOT Ryan to do her dirty work before? She has the money for a PI, why doesn't she just go all the way if she wants to kill Volchek?

Sad, Ryan closes the curtain on Seth, who is, like I said, still the loser. That's what happens when you do the right thing, kids. Learn your lesson.

Scenes: Thank God, they have about one more episode to get the Volchek plot over with. Say what you want about the OC, they do tie up lame plotlines pretty quickly usually at the beginning of new seasons. Ryan came back really fast this season, and Seth came back right away after sailing off at the end of season 1. With any luck, this crap will be over soon too.