Thursday, March 06, 2008

Milestones

Guess what this is? This is my 1000th post on my blog!

I've been anticipating this little anniversary for a while now, as I watched the numbers in my editor slowly grow. I'm pretty astonished that I have written this much (my self-awareness is spotty when it comes to my volubility), and to be honest, pretty proud. I've sustained this blog over more than two years. My first post was in July 2005, and I've been relatively consistent with this since then, especially as of late. I love having a little place to share things with all kinds of people -- my family, some friends near and far, and even a few "randoms."

When I started this, I wasn't exactly sure why. I just wanted a place to lay my head in the blogosphere, and I wanted an outlet for my thoughts as I entered the wide world of my 20s. I named it "now, tastes more like REAL life" after I saw a stupid commercial using that hackneyed phrase and I thought to myself, why would you ever want something that tasted like the real thing when you could have the real thing? But the truth is that we think in these strange dualities or levels all the time. I so often wonder, when is my real life going to start? or, is this my real life? or, when am I going to feel like an adult? when am I going to find my career, my passion, my life partner? The reality (pun not intended, I just have a small vocabulary) is that we are in the middle of our real lives all the time, and yet we always think that we're on our way to them. Part of my journey over the past two and a half years, and I think part of it shows on this blog, is coming to terms with the fact that I am living my life, day by day, and I should be aware of that and enjoying it and satisfied by that, but also that striving is good, and wondering is good, and asking questions is good, and being honest about when you are scared or confused or out of your comfort zone is good. That is, I suppose, what this blog is at its heart about. I know I post a lot of silly pop cultural things, too, but I like to think that this is a little more than that. A reflection of what I'm thinking about and learning -- and a reflection that is partly for you but partly for me, too, so that I have a record of what life felt like and what I cared about when I was how old I am now. I haven't really ever looked back on those posts the way you sometimes do with diaries and I don't really plan to look back now. I'm not going to celebrate my 1000th post with a list or an analysis of my favorite posts and such. This isn't really that kind of blog. It's not cohesive like that, and I don't think it's ever going to be, because I'll never be cohesive, because I'll always be in progress and I'll always be moving and going ahead.

This is a day by day blog, a walk down the block to your favorite coffee shop or movie theater (or, let's face it, bar) blog, an e-mail to your friend just to say hi blog, an "I thought you'd like this song" blog. At least, that's what I aspire for it to be, and I aspire for it to be the kind of place where I can document my weird journey through and to "real life" with a little help from my friends.

I was thinking despite saying I wouldn't look back that I would, well, look back a bit on all the stuff that's happened to me in the past two and a half years. But I don't think I will after all. I feel pretty satisfied with where this is going. I feel pretty happy with now.

P.S. "I love right now right now." -- my roommate, Dan

1 comment:

D said...

congrats Em. I love your blog.