Spam is Poetry

Yet another idea I had for the Internet and didn't act on, Spam is Poetry is all about how spam is... well, you know, sort of poetic sometimes. Proof that I've talked about this before:

me: i am clearing out spam email

got some weird ones

titled

phoenicia

proserpine

3:08 PM some spam comes in series, almost like found poetry

John: ha

me: school god comet compass navy

3:09 PM John: WOW

me: shop air spoon aircraft carrier hammer

John: these are incredible.

The other day I got some awesome spam. It is obviously all sex spam, whatever it's trying to sell me (I clearly don't click on the links). But it's reminiscent of those surveys that you had to take in high school to assess whether you had like a healthy sex attitude/life -- that, or it's like a purity test. Either way, here is a small selection of the more than THREE PAGES' worth of this spam that I transcribed today:


I wanted to dominate the other person.
I wanted to give someone a sexually transmitted disease.
It was an Initiation rite to a club or organization.
The person was mysterious.
It became a habit.
I wanted to see what all the fuss is about.
I wanted to see what it would be like to have see while stoned (e.g. oon marijuana or some other drug).
I wanted to punish myself.
I wanted to gain access to that person's friend.
An erotic movie had turned me on.
I got "carried away".
Because of a bet.
I wanted to increase the number of sex partners I had experienced.
It was easier to "go all the way" than to stop.
It seemed like good exercise.
I was tired of being a virgin.
I wanted to express my love for the person.
I desired emotional closeness (i.e. intimacy).
I wanted to have more sex than my friends.
I wanted to become more focused on work -- sexual thoughts are distracting.
I wanted to reaffirm my sexual orientation.
I wanted to feel closer to God.
I was slumming.
I was married and you're supposed to.
I wanted to keep warm.
I wanted to change the topic of conversation.
I wanted to relieve me menstrual cramps.
I wanted to be used or degraded.
It was a romantic setup.
The person was famous and I wanted to be able to say I had sex with him/her.
Someone dared me.
I wanted to impress friends.
The person had alot of money.

All typos, by the way, are exactly verbatim. Spam is weird!