Joanie!

I had a dream I met Joan Didion. I wanted to tell her I loved her, but I thought she'd resist that kind of girlish display. It was like in Can't Hardly Wait when Jenna Elfman, in angel stripper ("I'm a dancer") outfit, tells Preston how sad she was that she didn't say anything to Scott Baio when he came to her mall.

My dreams are very weird lately.

("This is just like that Scott Baio thing. When I was 16, I had the biggest thing for Scott Baio. I mean, this went back to the "Happy Days" years... not to mention "Joanie Loves Chachi." God, I hated her. Joanie. See, I always knew that somehow... I'd meet him. Like if I wanted it bad enough, I could make it happen. And it did... right after his first season of "Charles in Charge," he was doing this mall tour, and he came here to our mall. It was like everything was finally falling into place. You know, like it was --" "Fate." "Yeah! So I went, you know. And I had this red bandana... 'cause, you know, Chachi always wore that red bandana. And I waited there outside. And I was the first person when he pulled up. He got out of that car-- He was so beautiful. And he looked right at me. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't move. I never even talked to him, and he was right there. I still have that red bandana.")