Saturday, January 27, 2007


Below is an unedited liveblog of 24, season 3, episode 22. I wrote it after 2 drinks at the Nuthouse and "climbing Mount Everest" which was 4:30 minutes on the elliptical at top resistance - Ethan claimed that was climbing Mount Everest and I took him up on the challenge. While reading it you may thing that I am a) drunker than I am and b) obsessed with people dying but in response to those claims I say a) I'm a terrible typist so all these are mistakes I just normally correct in my liveblogs and this time didn't bother because I wanted to be true to the moment and b) If you watch 24 you develop very strong emotions in favor of or against the characters.

I think it would be cool to annotate this liveblog with comments and explanations but unfortunately Blogger doesn't have that feature. Wouldn't it be awesome if it did? Also, there are about 5 OC liveblogs forthcoming but I haven't edited them and I don't think you need to read typos of this sort more than once.

Warning: Spoilers ahead, if you ever plan on watching 24.

---the following takes place between 12:48am and 1:30am on the 27th of january--
---liveblog begins here---

Enter: 24 episode season 3, episode 22.

For some reason there is no public panic despite the fact that tens of thousands of people are infected with the Cordelia virus, which causes death by nose-bleeding and wart-like sores all over the body. No panic.

I don't trust anyone in this show.

The senator is at President Palmer's office blackmailin ghim with the help of Palmer's fucking uselses ex wife Shari Palmer who I HATE - just the fictional shari palmer not the real one. Palmer is of course uselessly moral and askes "what do you want" as though he doesnt know. the answer is resignation, whenevcer, with whatever face-saving reason he may give. whatshise name senator syas he is offerin ghim the chnac eto leave with honor. i wonder i fht ename senator kieillor is on purpose or not like its a legit reference to anything.

(catching up: kim is willing ot raise a cihld with useless beefcake chase whathis name. jack wa shardcore an totally caught up with tony almeida who is not lookin gho tin this episode/season in the middle of hte road and stopped him. they are in the middle of some ridiculous shit. i won't go into detial because really it's so obviously ridiculous this season that i can't explain. A VIRUS THAT KILLS PPL WITHIN SIX HOURS AND IS INFECTIOUS TO EVERYONE! CAN I JUST EXPLAIN HOW MANY NIGHTMARES HTI SHAS SCAUSED!!!)

jack and tony wait by a phone. tony still has a bullet hole in his neck and jack was addicdted to herion like 10 hours ago. but you know, they have nothing holding them back. the crazy british terrorist ("like those exist) tony is trying to second guess bauer which is like NOT going to happen because jack knwos all. tony calls jack on his shit - he says "didint you learn anything fro mwhat happned to teri" which is NOT what you want ot say to jack ever but epcislly when he's trying to kill terrorists. tony says just bc you are welling to sacrifice your wife doenst mean im ready to sarifice mine! oh snap. then th ephone right sprovign that jack was right not surprisingly. we hav ea dialogue about how jack was right lal ht etime even when he shot chapelle IN THE HEAD juts becaus ea terrorist said he had to and well so did ht epresidnet and there were extenuating circumstances but basically th epoint is that jack had to and so he did because jack knows no fear and has no real problem with killing anyone anytime. its necessary.

ravi sayds it the rants of the drunkard but 0- not true. i CLIMBED MOUNT EVEREST.

back to kim and chase she tells him to be careful and he says hell be fine whcih is not likely. chloe looks on sympathetically and knowingly becuas eshe is smar tyet annoying. she point sout ot kim that hter eis no way chase is quitting field ops. he is just like jack except he fucks shit up (an dehe cuts off ppls fingers FOR jack instead of doing it himself). chloe is always right. she fololows too much protocol but she's right

back to shari palmer. Hatred. that bitch SUCKSkkkksksksksksk or as nerds would say, she suxors. or something lik that. shari you are a manipulative whore. pleasee die already. ithink ihate you more than nina myers. you desrved to be thrown out lik ean old pair of hsoes.

david says shari ar eyou willing to go jail - and she says she's asked herself hta t amillion times. yes becas eyou are an effing criminal you beyotch.

jack and useless daughter (not kim, the othe ruselses duaghter) have conversatoin abo ther insane terrorist dad. she has aslight chin dimple as well as kim.

michelle is awesome. she fakes the virus to the guard who totally falls for it. she lik ejack bauer know she rshit. GO MICHELLE DONT DIE NOW YOU HAVE COME THIS FAR!!!! she is hard. she busts out. the crazy brit follows her out. they cant kill yher see, because she is necessary to their plot. lots of dark corridors .dont know why spies/agents wear crazy ass pointy heels and can be heard miles away. michelle is versus the crazy agents in the corridorso of this house. she seems to be successful except no service on cell phone. wwhow did she GET a cell phone? ok she's outdoors, just barely. now sutkc in some crazy barbed wire cage situation around the fence. its ok thoug hshe stil has a phone. calling chloe who covers her shit. their cells sure dont seem to be working well. you'd think they'd be better at this. michell evades the crazy terrorist by ducking undergorund again. yes! michell1 you are way more hardcore than i ever thought you'd be ebfore.

brits are always evil in movies this is true ethan you speak the truth.

wayne, dont ou know you should balance goatee iwth hair on top of your head?

shari is an evil whore. the palmer brother discuss the situation.

are they talking about killing shari? please let them kill her.

kim calls jack, michelle got free, patching throuhg. as usual. she is somewhere outside. jack wnats her to give herself up. jack if this doenst work out tony will hat eyou forever. JACK do nto fuck this up. michell ehas to give herself up even thoug hshe's out. jack what ht ehell. serioulsly.

michelle "accidentally" gets cuaght by saunders the brit. nice one jcak. now tony hates you too. wayne walks throuhg parking lots which i feel like should be more supsicitous for like an NSA person. wyane talks to toxton who is apparnetly a bad guy. he is stubborn and wants th eapproval from the preisidnet which seems silly from an asssassin. leav eht ecar parked in the middle of hte street why dont you. very productive and inconspicuous.

back at ht esaunders exhange spot the guys hid ebeind tires. SO not obvious. tony is freaking out but only calmly. surprisng how quickly he gave up.

alright. vans show up, michelle is inside. with all the bad guys.l tony has the duaghter. come on let this go off with out a hitch. michelle is so screwed. the duaghter is so screwed. oh my god this is so nerve wracking. come on michelle go faster.

ok so that was ridiculous. tony is covering michelle and the daughter ran away becaus eshe is too scared of her evil dad, no surpsris.e evil dad freak out in middl eof hte melee and runs away. jack follwos saunders and there is a a helicopter on saunders side. oh my god are those fucking f18s? this season is amaaazing. jack hides while saunders runs. that helicopter SUCKS. wathc htis military plane fucking bomv that helicopter. DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!! yes!!! THAT WAS AWESOSME!!!!! the f18s are awesome. can we discuss.

teh bigger question is where is the virus? michelle survived thank god. that couple seriously is awesome. please, please have lots of bebaies like right now.

jack come sup to saunders. who says that its just beginning. he syas he will kill millions unless she gets what he wants. whatever that may be.

2 hours left. no idea whats going to happen.


Anonymous said...

well that clears the whole thing up. D

Emily said...


Anonymous said...

I can't watch 24, cause Jack whathisname drives me nuts. I was just being funny, becasue the liveblog was exactly the way my brain works when I'm watching it. what with all the blended words and all