now, tastes more like real life

Today was the last day of my continuing studies class. It was really fascinating. Refreshing to find a class full of people who all really, really wanted to be there and were sorry to see it go. A brief, two hour class every Tuesday was actually incredibly meaningful to everyone there. One woman read a little piece she wrote down about how important the class was and how inspiring. One man shared with us that the class has thrown him into thought every Tuesday, left him wandering and driving around thinking, e-mailing his friends. He's literally been, not traumatized exactly, but thrown for a loop. What a rare and amazing thing for a little class to do.

I found out for certain tonight that I am 9 years younger than the next youngest person in the class. I felt really young. I went into the class the first day thinking that I, with my superior English major background, would feel completely at ease. But it turns out that this was a different kind of class, and one that I both liked better and was more out of place in. There was a vast collection of experiences in this class, a wide variety of personalities and life histories. Every day someone told a story that I couldn't have imagined. Tonight, there was this outpouring of emotion, gratitude for this class. And I felt really humbled and silly - like I didn't really have that much to say. I wanted to, but my experiences are dwarfed by theirs.

Leaving class tonight, I felt like I wanted to be, in some way, shape or form, a little bit of everyone there. I wanted to take their wisdom and commitment and uniqueness and make something of it. I wanted to be An Adult. I feel that way a lot. I think sometimes by living like I am in a city, buying food at Whole Foods like it's a farmer's market or something local and independent, and going to bars at night and brunch at noon, that I am closer to being an adult. And then I go home from my class with a free half-bottle of champagne that was leftover from our last night potluck, and I open it and had I not been holding on to the cork with my hand it would have hit me squarely in the eye. And I think to myself, I guess the only thing I can do is give myself time.

And register for another continuing studies class. They are so worth the money.