now, tastes more like real life

I had this link sitting in my Mozilla tabs for days (I have a tab problem). I was about to delete it and then I thought, no, I'm going to read it after all. Boy do I not regret that! This is full of such juicy retardedness about our favorite idiotic "celebrity" couple... yes, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. I haven't even really been watching the Hills for a while (i missed the end of the season), but I don't really care. I may even become a conscientious objector to bullshit reality tv and the celebrities that spring from it, but really, for now, this is too hilarious. Some special moments with Heidi and Spencer, excerpted:

Spencer: My new plan to keep everything secret like a ninja. Too many ideas are taken from me. I wouldn’t even know where to start with that one. My hustle is just too crazy. I’m trying to take over the world.

...

MTV Reality World: What’s in the future for you guys?

Heidi: I’m never letting this one go!

Spencer: The bottom line about me wanting to move in with her is that I haven’t left this girl’s side since I met her. I’m obsessed with her. Everyone says* I can’t get into the clubs anymore, but the truth is I don’t go to clubs anymore because I like to cuddle up in bed with my girlfriend with some DVDs.

Heidi: I wouldn’t want to go to clubs anymore. I have so much more fun watching DVDs with Spencer and cuddling.

MTV Reality World: I understand you have some blogs coming out. What can we look forward to seeing there?

Spencer: Well, I want to start to have our side of the story come out. I want to get a blog so people can know what’s going on with Spencer on the daily. Lauren narrates The Hills. Spencer is going to narrate his blog. Imagine if Spencer narrated The Hills… It’s how you skew it. If I’m the narrator, wait to see how much people love Spencer.

*by everyone, clearly he means my friend Rachel...

And, scene. Cannot wait for Spencer's blog.