72 hours earlier…
They talk about the big one and how since it never happens they always wish that it would. Dum dum dum…
At the Cohens’, Ryan snatches up his keys and heads out to find
Kaitlin shows up downstairs wearing a terrible outfit to find Kevin Sorbo and her mom cuddling in the kitchen. Gross. Kaitlin says she is never going to start barfing. She starts to make fun of Kevin Sorbo for being from jail. Then he says he got his bag from REI so it’s clean. Ha.
Julie marches Kevin Sorbo out for his job interview while Kaitlin gets ideas about looking through his bag for… what… stuff to incriminate him? Or maybe planting things to incriminate him.
Holly is being a total airhead talking to Kirsten at prenatal yoga. She is so annoying. “Hey hos, come here.” Kirsten is apparently stuck with the Newpsies. Holly says that they are going to let Kirsten into the club the Six-pack Pack for staying skinny while pregnant. These people are truly awful I can’t even explain. If you aren’t watching you just can’t know.
Summer shows up at Ryan’s to tell him that she’s taking Seth to an art exhibit sponsored by George. She scopes out what Ryan is getting
Kaitlin meets Frank at the mall. She says she doesn’t care that he went to prison, he’s just boring. He says she hardly knows him so she challenges him to say something funny. Kaitlin starts asking him about dropping the soap. She’s a real bitch sometimes. Kevin Sorbo is just asking for a chance.
Julie discovers all this weird clown porn in Frank’s bag, clearly from Kaitlin. There is such a thing as circus porn?
Summer and Seth are talking about the art at the environmental place. Seth doesn’t like the art cause it’s not arty enough and Summer is trying to get him to like it. She says to prove it by making his own movie. Hmm, I smell a plot.
Kirsten shows up at
Ryan and Taylor watch some weird black and white movie while she tries to provoke him into saying he loves her. Ah apparently it’s the Hunchback of Notre Dame. She wants the hunchback to talk to Esmeralda bout how he feels and they could be happy for at least 4 years. Oh
Seth is apparently filming the pool… or at least some funny blown up animals in the pool. And tells Ryan to go to
Julie is challenging Frank about the clown porn and realizes that Kaitlin had planted the porn. She is all pissed at Kaitlin but Frank says that he can take it because he’s being hazed.
Summer doesn’t like Seth’s pool movie because he was lazy and chose the path of least resistance. He claims it was a satire but she knows the truth and tells him to find something better that he can get engaged in.
Kirsten and Sandy show up to Spitzy’s dinner with his wife who is supposed to reassure Kirsten about how people in
This Carrie Spitz bitch is totally useless. She apparently still drinks tequila shots and acts like a total loser high school Newspie person. She hates her own baby sitting across the room crying with the nurse. Kirsten says she isn’t feeling well and wants to leave. This Carrie person sucks and tells Kirsten to call for baby advice and then calls them losers behind their back.
Seth is videotaping Ryan now from a perch on a ladder. He says that the movie is about Ryan and his hidden emotions. Seth says “How does it feel to have Dean Hess’s sloppy seconds?” And wants to know what Ryan got her. He got her the love poems but Seth says “You might as well tell her that you love her” and Ryan confesses that was too late.
Then Julie shows up and tells
Frank shows up at Ryan’s to talk to him about how to win over Kaitlin the bitch. Ryan has no real suggestions. He still has the romantic love poems to give her.
Seth is videotaping everything and
Julie is in the bathroom and discovers a page with Frank Atwood’s mugshot that says “This guy loves clown porn!”
Seth videotapes Summer talking to his mom about how she really wants him to get passionate about something since he seems kind of lost.
Julie finds Kaitlin to tear down all of the flyers about clown porn. Kaitlin really can be a real bitch sometimes. She says that she doesn’t think that Frank is going to stick around any longer because she doesn’t like people leaving her all the time. She says that she and Julie need to just be family by themselves for a while.
Ryan shows up to talk to Taylor who is crying in the corner. She is freaking out that he told her he loved her. He mentions that she said the
Ryan stumbles across Kaitlin who is looking depressed. This episode is kind of a downer. Kaitlin says by the looks of it they aren’t going to be brother and sister again, she didn’t want to rush into an insta-family and she was upset about it. Julie and Frank are arguing. Then Kaitin tells Ryan that if he doesn’t tell
Seth shows Summer the video about her talking about passion. And he realizes maybe he should be a movie critic cause he likes watching them and saying what’s wrong with it.
Kaitlin and Julie have a family chat about how Julie told Frank that she needs a little space to spend with her daughter. Very mature of you.
AND the earthquake starts. Oh my god this is a hell of an earthquake. It’s lasting for a really long time. Come on! No one get hurt! Shit, where is Kirsten and what is going on here. Kirsten is on the ground somewhere and
I had to watch the preview on YouTube twice just to find out what the hell is going on: Who is “slowly slipping away?” What’s the deal with this? Is someone else going to DIE?! I can't believe there are only two episodes left.